A light at the end of the tunnel

Over time that you work on different tasks, you learn more things about yourself. When things go wrong, when things are not happened in the same way that we have planned, when external problems interfere with our internal schedule...People react in different ways at these situations. Some get sensitive and put the blame on others. Some are hard on themselves and go extreamly criticizing their work. The last group who are rare in the number try to be reasonable and see the real problems that cause they perform less efficiently.

I used to be like the first group for a long time. Like a nagging person who believes the whole world is against her!!! But the life actually teaches me that this attitude will not work for most situations. As I get involved with more serious tasks such as writing a thesis in English, taking difficult English exams, presenting my work to broad rang of people, more importantly working with people who are precise and punctuate, I realize that I need a change. A big change! Fortunately, once I am convinced to do a change, my personality does not resist to the change anymore. I easily throw away previous thoughts and adapt to the new situation. However, convincing me is not that simple!!!

Given this introduction, I am trying to join the third group. I am working on myself to be more rational and reasonable. I am doing a PhD in computer science, not many people do this in particular, women do not go for such difficult tasks. I have a dare to start it, although there are times that I become overwhelm with the pressure. In particular, the times that I compare my life with other friends, girls! They seem so happier and relax than I. But in fact, they are not doing anything with their life. We often neglect the undeniable truth that once we get used to ordinary life and we pass thirty, years of life go fast. So, being more different has the advantages of getting more benefits.

The thing is I am trying to be less sensitive but more focus on anything in life. It is difficult when most people around you do not really care about the quality of the personality.
I am the one who cares and I sometimes feel sad of going through this practice...It is because I feel tired time to time but I know that there is a light at the end of this tunnel!