A year has passed...

This picture was taken one year ago, the first morning that I woke up in my new apartment ...Today, while looking at this photo, I remembered the exact feeling that I had that morning. I saw the city in front of me in which I used to live fully but that morning I felt completely empty inside, so damaged...A year after that morning, I look at the city from the same window and I feel that I still want to live fully. This is one of the reason that I love photography. It is a true record of the moments, of us

Let it go

A perfect day can start after a good rest. A perfect day can start after having a good breakfast, even by yourself. It does not really matter if you are with someone or alone, this is your own motivation to cease the day. I feel it. When I bake my chocolate cake, when I water my plants, when I color my hair, when I read a new article related to my research, when I cut unnecessary friends, by doing these I see myself in a new place of my life. I have got to believe that my grief is finally over. The grief of a big loss, the grief of being lied to, the grief of being left behind.... These are not really important to me anymore. I have lost my interest to find a answer to that big question that has been in my head for a year now. The best answer is "let it go"...At the end of the day, I let all the pains, hurts, suffers and hates go... The victory is mine as the moment I have accepted to close the dead chapter, I start a new chapter in my life. Yes. I now enjoy myself with a fine breakfast and a good plan to cease a sunny Sunday ahead.

Bring the happiness to my heart

Whenever I feel down for different reasons in life, I start to dance. If I can attend my dance classes or I would dance alone in my room. Dance is like a magic. It replaces negative feelings with charming thoughts. When I dance, my body moves insane and my mind becomes white of whatever makes me fear, worry or upset. Every lyric of the song gives me the bravery to dream. thinks of my success instead of my failures and gives me enough strength to fight with the problems. It is true that we deserve to live like a princess and in dance this fairy tale can happen. Bring the

A great loss

It was a sunny and beautiful Sunday. This is one of the rare times in my life that I did not have any motivation to go out and enjoy the sunshine. I do not feel to get up from my bed and start my day. I knew the reason behind this non-begin motivated to anything. I have suffered from a great loss in my family over the past two weeks. My dear grandmother has passed away after a period of suffering of cancer. I could not see her before her death and when I got the news, she was gone forever. Confronting this grief all alone here was the most difficult experience I have had during my life in Australia. Like my family back in my country, first I was shocked from the news. But they had each other and they went to rituals and ceremonies in which many relatives and friends came along and showed their sympathy. Only here, I realized that how much this atmosphere helps the remainders to cope with the sadness of a big loss. I touched the deepest moment of sadness. That big emptiness could not filled with anything here... Although I survived the first week, I still feel the sorrow on my heart at the end of the second week. Thankfully, I have some caring friends here who are for me in need. I went to my friends' place in Dandenong, we had a lovely afternoon walk in the garden next to their house. And I had dinner with her husband and her. The joy of being with a couple who truely loved each other, declined my sorrow. I was able to pass the hard day behind finally. Now, I am ready to start the week fresh... I listen to this song and wish my grandmother rest in peace... Mama

self-realization

"Men can starve from a lack of self-realization as much as they can from a lack of bread." -Richard Wright I am working on this...